So, Disaster Movie. Well what a complete load of bollocks. The film doesn’t even relate to a single disaster movie. I mean, how are “Enchanted“, “Iron Man“, “The Hulk“, “Hancock“, “Juno” and Amy Whinehouse disaster movies? Ok, to be fair, Amy Whinehouse is a disaster, but I don’t see how she’s a freaking movie.

This film appeals to the “idiot generation”, as I like to call it. Why? Because anyone who is willing to pay money to see this film and then actually enjoy it – feeling that it was money well spent – is obviously missing several brain-cells. And when I say “missing several brain-cells”, I mean “missing that whole, entire Brain thing”.

Friegfart and Shitheizer, or whatever their names are (I can’t be bothered working out what their names really are, since the only time I’ll ever need to mention them is when I look back in twenty years and casually bring it up in a discussion about the olden days; remembering how crap everything was in this commercial and unimaginative “dark period”) named this movie specially for the simpletons that would be likely to see it. And because they’re too simple to understand what I mean… It’s. called. Disaster. Movie. because. the. film. is. a. disaster. Don’t. go. and. see. it. OK? Save. your. money. and. buy. an. education. instead.

By the way, I haven’t seen this movie and have no intention to, as you can probably tell. Even if someone forced me at gunpoint to go and see this movie, I would rather be shot and let my corpse become victim to the sick pleasures of whoever was behind the gun. Enough said…?