Archive for September, 2009

Blak Tornado Mobile Site is Live!

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

Blak Tornado Mobile

Good news iPhone and iPod Touch owners! For those of you who want to view the site on your iDevice, I have created a mobile version that’s suitable for your fingers! No longer do you have to zoom in to click that fiddly little link, or jump through five different pages just to watch an episode of Clayground that doesn’t load properly anyway, since there’s no Flash support.

The site lets you watch the Clayground videos, read this blog in a friendly format, listen to T.I.T.S, and buy An Unnecessary Biography from the iTunes app (Ok, no-one cares about that, but I’m grasping at straws here). Hopefully it’ll land a place on a couple of your home screens…?

But fear not, those of you without iPhones, as you do not have to miss out to. Those of you without iPhones but with Safari or Chrome can view two special versions of both the blog and T.I.T.S section using your browsers! Just go to blaktornado.com/webkit/tits/ for T.I.T.S or blaktornado.com/webkit/blog/ for the Blog and watch the magic happen!

And if you have neither of those, well, uh…

Muse – The Resistance [Review]

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

Probably my most anticipated release of the past couple of years, Muse’s “The Resistance” has finally landed itself into my grubby mitts, ready to stumble it’s way into my ear canals.

The Resistance - Muse

The Resistance - Muse

Like before, Muse blend a mixture of guitars, synthesizers and orchestral strings into an epic flurry of whim and wonder. The only difference is that this time, Muse have been set free from the grasp of the music industry’s talons and their bite is much worse this time round.

The album starts with uproarious “Uprising”, which will certainly sound familiar to anyone who’s been keeping an eye on Muse’s recent activity. With an astonishing performance at their home town of Teignmouth, Uprising is an excellent start to the new album, picking up where Knights of Cydonia left off. The song certainly has a catchy rhythm, with plenty of synth and guitar riffs to go around. Watching the video, you can tell the tongue-in-cheek nature of the teddy bears, but it fits so accordingly with who and what Muse are; as always, they’re spreading a serious message with a sense of irony and playfulness. They certainly aren’t taking themselves seriously, and maybe that’s why Muse are so good at what they do.

Following Uprising is “Resistance”, a bizarre yet awesome mixture of Thoughts of a Dying Atheist, “I Need a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler, sadly, “Nude” by Radiohead (sadly in the sense that it’ll just be used against them by critics). Personally, I love this intro. It sounds wonderfully dramatic, before bursting into a typical rock love song, twisting and warping between moods and emotions, wrapped around a cheesy but catchy chorus. With the line “You’ll wake the thought police”, you certainly know where Matt Bellamy gets a lot of his inspiration.

But this isn’t where the cheese ends. “Undisclosed Desires” is almost the pinnacle of cheese, with pizzicato violins and slap bass. As bad as it sounds, oddly again, Muse pull it off in some sort of bizarre head-nodding, foot-tapping exhibition of talent; rubbing in the fact that there’s nothing that Muse can’t do. The hilarity caused by Matt Bellamy singing “Please me. Show me how it’s done” is unbelievable, yet somehow a smirk fails to creep out because of the emotion driving behind the song.

Now if Undisclosed Desires wasn’t enough, Muse just slap some parmesan on the album with “United States of Eurasia”. After an online scavenger hunt, Muse released United States of Eurasia as a downloadable track in July. Stealing inspiration for glam-rock style crescendos and harmonies from Queen, Muse delivers a completely and utterly ridiculous track, with Arabian style bridges and a harmonious chanting of “Eura-SAI! SIA! SIA!”. This track was certainly not meant to be taken seriously – even Matt Bellamy admits that the entire band cracked up during the recording process… But is this a bad thing? I think not. The album has a lot of charm and whim, and is certainly something that no other band would be able to get away with. Imagine what would happen if Green Day had recorded this. I think the world would have been up in arms! To gather a true sense of how phenomenal this track is, you need to watch a couple of Muse’s live acts and apply that to your imagination. The track then finishes with “Collateral Damage”, a sweet rendition of a Chopin piece, before a clip of a rocket blasting transitions us into “Guiding Light”.

Guiding Light is a typical love song, starting with gentle synths and a mellow but rhythmic bass and drum drone in the background. After a short while, the guitar kicks in with a whoppingly meaty guitar solo; nothing fancy (reminiscent of Sing For Absolution, although not in the same league), but certainly a solo to awe at. In my opinion, this song is one of the biggest evidences that Matt Bellamy’s singing style has changed. Whether or not for the better is debatable, but it’s much deeper than before and certainly more mature.

“Unnatural Selection” starts with a Megalomania style organ, with Matt Bellamy singing softly over, before the entire band kicks in with a guitar riff that you could never imagine Muse playing. This fast-tempo, distorted vocal speed rock song get s even the most stubborn of feet moving, before heading into a Billy Talent-meets-classical style chorus. Complete with “Hey!”s, the song is definitely one of the heavier songs on the album. But that’s not all – in traditional Muse style, the song dives into a waltzy lull of heavy bass and bluesy guitar. You can imagine the band playing in a dingy pub, hats covering their faces and the sorrows of a thousand years at their feet – a complete contrast to the whole “droplets in the ocean” thing going on earlier… But it’s not gone! It quickly comes back before rounding off with a riff or two, leading us into “MK Ultra”, which starts with a beautiful synth melody.

Beautiful is the only word I can use to describe MK Ultra. With an emotional synth melody, and a chord progression that would make anyone at least a little bit sad, mixed in with arpeggio strings. One of my favourite tracks on the album, the song starts leads you into a false sense of security. It gradually slows down before bursting into a typical Muse-style riff, similar in duration to the one in Invincible. Personally, this song reminds me heavily of the music from the 2005 series of Doctor Who, with it’s “Oooooo”s and fast tempo. Definitely a song to listen to time and time again.

To penultimate song on the album is I Belong To You, where Matt Bellamy sings a section in French. Yes; French. Personally, I’m not hugely keen on this song. I like some parts of the song, but other parts are certainly not doing it for me; but then again, I was never really a huge fan of Soldier’s Poem, so it’s not the first time I’ve thought a Muse song to be a bit dud. But this is definitely much better than Soldier’s Poem. The song starts funky, before diving into a solo from Matt and his piano, where the rest of the band crescendos with the orchestra. Like MK Ultra, the song then jumps back to where it left off and finishes fairly tamely, with the inclusion of a bass clarinet solo. How does that work!? God knows… but it’s oddly fitting.

Finally, the epitome of the album; “Exogenesis: Symphony”. This was the biggest excitement to the upcoming album. Muse had said that they always had this idea and working under a producer meant they could never have the freedom to complete it. Well, they’ve finished it and it’s spectacular. I don’t say that lightly. Again, the song is typical Doctor Who music, but I love it. Part 1 (Overture) starts with arpeggio strings and timpani, before Matt Bellamy kicks in his signature falsetto (something which has been rather lacking until this point). After three minutes of immense strings, the guitar picks up and emits a sound so beautiful that maybe one cannot even contemplate the sheer amazingness of everything to do with Muse. Up until this point, I had been losing faith in the album and was expecting another “so-so” track, but boy was I wrong. I am finding it hard to write about it.

Part 2 (Cross-Pollination) starts with typical Matt Bellamy piano-wanking (similar to that of Butterflies & Hurricanes), only this time he’s joined by strings and synth chorus. It’s beautiful. I was listening to this last night and I almost fell asleep. But in traditional Muse style, Matt doesn’t give too much and the piano cowers back a little to something more familiar (as if it looked around and realised it was overdoing it a little, but just in time) and a waltz kicks in… then before you know it- BAM. The entire band is playing a gigantic, symphonic ear-bursting blast of awesomeness, before reverting back to the piano-wanking of earlier, which has now become the more modest option.

Finally, Part 3 (Redemption) rounds of what is a now-brilliant album, with an emotional introduction of piano and strings. I almost felt a tear come to my eye. To think that this is MUSE. MUSE. You could imagine this being the soundtrack of Matt Bellamy’s biography as he looks back over the early days of his career, up until this point. All the struggles, all the good times, etc. and now this final build up. Some say the lyrics of this song are meant to be about politics (“Let’s start over again”) but could it really be about the band, and their approach to the next album? They’ve now done everything they’ve ever wanted to do; released 5 top-selling albums, filled Wembley stadium not once but twice, and finished what is the most ambitious product they’ve ever done; Exogenesis. The name redemption certainly fits the song appropriately and it does leave you with a sense of forgiveness towards the rest of the album’s silliness. A truly beautiful song.

To conclude, Muse’s Resistance isn’t their best album, but it certainly has some tracks that make it far from a bad album. Uprising, MK Ultra and Exogenesis alone make it worth it, and even if Muse didn’t take themselves completely seriously, they made up for that with the final three tracks. Without my Muse Fan cap on, I would give this album a 9/10. With my Muse cap on, I give it a 10. That’s the honest truth. At their first attempt of producing their own album, they’ve done a very good job. I’ve been self-producing my own music and it’s taken me about five years to get the hang of it properly; Muse managed in six months (Albeit with a little bit of help). I don’t think one person’s opinion of this album can be the defining opinion, and I find it hard to recommend this album (although I do!), but I urge everyone to go out and buy it and see what you make of it. For me, it’s excellent, a superb album, and I’m glad I’m going to see Muse now it’s released, rather than having seen them before. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you give it a chance you may find that at least some aspects of it may be yours. Good job, Muse.

New Born

Possibly The Best Thing To Ever Come Into Contact With Human Eyes… [Youtube]

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Chimpanzee Riding A Segway – Parry Gripp

THIS MAY JUST BE THE BEST THING EVER.

No further explanation needed.

It's That Time Of The Year Again…

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

paranoia

It’s that time of the year again. The streets quieten during the day, parents across the country can finally put their feet up and for those of us unlucky enough, it’s time to return to school. Thankfully for me, I’m at college now… But it’s not much of a consolation. What’s the difference? Well, I don’t have to wear a uniform and, um, I can wander around the town in my breaks (Town sucks). What’s the same? I have to do work, I go there to learn and I have to get up early. The cons vastly outweigh the pros, evidently.

Following my recent endeavour to look at the positive side of life (my psychiatrist tells me it boosts morale), at least I get to see my friends, colleagues and girlfriend (the last one being the biggest benefit). But when looking at the alarm clock, it’s just not doing much for me. When I see “7:00 AM” peering out of it’s monochromatic screen, I automatically translate it as the alarm clock growing legs and kicking me square in the testicles, then rubbing in the fact that I no longer have the gift of fertility by literally thrusting it’s own, large, perfectly fertile, hairy, pulsating testicles in my face. That’s how it feels.

Don’t tell me I’m exaggerating. I don’t exaggerate. If anything, you’re exaggerating how much I’m exaggerating, and in turn I’m exaggerating how much you’re exaggerating, which will lead you to do the same in return. It’s a vicious cycle and it all started because of you and your judgemental ways. If only you weren’t so judgemental. You’re more judgemental than Judge Judy. Actually, Judge Judy is quite a fair and balanced judge but if you hadn’t started this, I wouldn’t have made such a mistake and we wouldn’t be where we are now. It’s all your fault. Everything is your fault. You’re the reason Mommy and Daddy don’t love each other any more.

So, uh, yeah… I start college again in the morning.

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Monday, September 7th, 2009

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