Because no-one cares about me or my music enough to interview me about my album, I have been forced to interview myself about this album. I like to think that there is someone willing to read it out there, but again, if no-one wants to interview me then who wants to read an interview? Oh well. Just like all the “Frequently Asked Questions” pages before (which, coincidentally, consisted of questions that I assumed people would ask me if they were to ask me anything), this epic show-stopper of interviewation is brought to you by the Blak Tornado corporation – because nothing says loner like someone who talks to themselves. Right, here goes.

Well, firstly, how long have you been recording music?

I’ve been making music for about five years now… and I still feel like I’m the shallow end of the pool. I recently bought Logic Express (coincidentally right after I submitted the new album for cataloging on the iTunes Store and Amazon MP3) and when reading through the manual, I was stumped by all the complex audio procedures, like channeling sounds through busses and so on. It’s like I’m a little fish in a big pond but I’ve been here a while… at least that’s some small mercy!

How long did it take you, and how did you record this music?

Well this album is coming out literally two years and a day after the last, so I’d say two years.

You didn’t answer my whole question; how did you record it?

Oh, sorry (Hey, I’m allowed to forget parts of questions I just asked myself!). I used Apple Garageband to do the most of it (recording, mixing, etc.) but used Sibelius for writing scores, especially in orchestral tracks like “Substiture”. But I also used it to write the synth parts in “Just Because You Can, It Doesn’t Mean You Should”, “Not Lust” and “Prepare For The Attack”.

Speaking of synths and orchestras…

Yes! Haha. This album is a bit, well, different from the last. “An Unnecessary Biography” was literally just a guitar, bass and drum album (with a few bits of subtle keyboard here and there), whereas this album is more… well, varied. Take the first track “Humble”. It starts of with a very mellow piano sequence, which then explodes with guitars, drums and vocals. Compared to “Why Don’t You See?”, it’s a very stark contrast. This album was basically what I would have done if I could have done. Thanks to digital recording, I’ve literally got every instrument and sound imaginable at my finger tips.

My first introduction to playing music was very classical as I played the cello, and I think this album shows a fair amount of that. Back in the days of Weather Report (help me, God), I remember trying to rig my cello up to my 12-track, but the sound wasn’t that great and I couldn’t really tune it, so I decided to ditch it for An Unnecessary Biography. I think this time round, I was given a lot more freedom with what I could do (while still sounding pretty good)… And that’s how tracks like “Substiture” came to be. I also had another track of similar nature that was originally going to be on the album, but it just didn’t sound right. I think Substiture managed to get away with it somehow… maybe we’ll see this track again in the future?

What’s your favourite track from the album?

Well, that’s a hard one. In all honesty, I like them all (obviously), but the one that really shone through at the end was “Red Letter Day”. When I was reviewing which tracks I wanted to keep on the album, I listened to them all and at the time, the previous version didn’t rank very highly. I was actually really close to cutting it… but then a voice inside me said “Hey, this track could be really good. Re-record it.” So I did… But it still didn’t sound right. It felt like there was something missing. At the very last minute, I was jamming along to another band when I thought “I wonder what would happen if I try to play Red Letter Day like this”… and that was it. That was what the track needed. So I added a the extra guitar part and needless to say, I’m really pleased with how it came out, and I’m glad I kept it in the end.

Finally, if there was one track you could go back and redo again, which one would it be?

Hmm… I’m not sure. I think there were a couple I recorded and never did anything with seriously, but overall I’m happy with the way they’ve all come out. In all honest, I would have liked to have sent them all through the Logic machine before releasing them, but everything else is good! I think the biggest thing I would change is the bloody drums. I only had about 5 different Apple loops that sounded good and had to use them all the way through the album. (The Software drums were a little lame and I don’t have a drum kit in my abode)

Thank you for your time

No, thank you!

No, thank you!

I think I might go and cut myself now…

I hate people. People are stupid. People are nasty. People are greedy. People are vile. People cause war, are selfish and watch X Factor. People take life for granted and don’t appreciate the world around them. People are awful creatures and should be exterminated mercilessly.

The world is full of dullards. Every day more and more people are living up to stereotypes by becoming one conglomerative clump of similarity and predictability. Very few people have a unique and interesting taste in life these days, and those that do have to cower away in fear of being cast a freak, as anything different is poisonous and will spread like a disease. In a society where we are all “equal”, it strikes me as odd that difference is tolerated so frivolously. Look at the recent article for the Daily Mail by Jan Moir; if we tolerated people who were different, not only would this article have not been published, but it would never have been written in the first place.

I guess one problem is that people place too much value in what other people think of them. Your £400 designer jacket or sports car will only give you a false sense of grandiosity; there is no actual importance behind any of these objects. Yet still, people go out of their way to make their credit card stretch to buy these things. What are you expecting to happen when you buy these things? Everyone in the street to look at you in envy, faint or have their jaws hit the street as you walk by, just like the adverts? No. The most that will happen is that a couple of people will notice and silently mutter “Oh wow” before continuing with their day, while everyone else ignores you and labels you as pretentious as they pursue their own ego-driven journey into the latest and greatest fashions. The fact of the matter is that no-one gives a crap about anyone else but themselves and the people who appear in the media… Or at least that’s the impression I receive.

Now, when writing this, my girlfriend picked at me because she thought I was being hypocritical. She argued “You have a fancy iMac and an iPhone and have put them in your signature on some forum I saw you on. You’re being a bit hypocritical” – just like that. And do you know what? I turned around and punched her in the face for arguing with me; her superior. Ok, I may have made that last bit up, but I was challenged non-the-less. My argument is that I don’t have these possessions for the sake of having bragging rights. They’re tools to make my life easier and allow for me to follow my creative ambitions. I much prefer them over the alternatives available because I find them to be more functional for what I want to do, rather than because I think they look good or have some sort of street value that will reflect on me somehow. In short, I didn’t buy them because of the logo but because of what they do. While I may have “shown off” my possessions, I didn’t do it for a reaction but to help people know a bit more about me; You wouldn’t sign up to a forum discussing health issues without letting people know what problems or expertise you have. By stating the fact I had an iMac and an iPhone, it helps me connect to people who may share similar interests and opinions, and talk about something I’m passionate about. It’s no news that I’m a geek and love talking about gadgets. The difference between me and someone who pays £300 for a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes is that the person buying the shoes could easily buy a pair of shoes for £50 or less that do exactly the same thing and won’t make you cry when you step in something foul. There are no functional differences in the Jimmy Choos than there are in a pair of Nikes (Could I edit HD video on a £200 Netbook?). These expensive fashion items are purely for the sake of showing off, saying “I have money”, when in reality they were probably bought on credit because the owner has no real money of their own.

But I have become sidetracked. When I stated that the problem is people placing too much value in what other people think of them, I meant that by doing so we match our own expectations to what we believe everyone else’s to be, as opposed to becoming superficial about our  lifestyles (although it is a matter of grave concern). Even when it comes to things of actual importance, this idea shows clearly. Look at the number of people who have to keep their beliefs to themselves in fear of others thinking badly of them. Personally, I am a vegetarian; I have been all my life and I have no intention to stop in the future. But for me, I am almost afraid to tell people of this fact because I know how people will take it. Even if people try and say something nice about it, they’re usually saying something because they think it’s weird and feel, well, sorry for me, as if I’m a bit wonky in the head. It’s almost like by saying something nice to me they are placed on a moral pedestal similar to that of giving money to charity or helping a disabled person climb stairs. And all this is about my dietary habits! Imagine what they would say if I turned around and told them I was a vegan, homosexual buddhist who spends his spare time participating in period reenactments in order to raise money to combat the effects of global warming on seals in the arctic. I would probably be invited to fewer gatherings than I already am. (For the record, I am none of those things. But if someone as perfect as myself can subliminally label a persona as bizarre or odd enough for me to use it as an example of someone who would be considered odd and bizarre, let alone write a disclaimer to disassociate myself with being that person, then surely someone who is more intellectually challenged and open to narrow minded impressions than myself would think such a thing too, actively or not.)

Another observation I have made is that because we can’t be honest about ourselves to other people in fear of what they’ll think, it often causes us to have a natural reluctancy to do things that could be looked upon as bizarre, or leave us open for potential ridicule. In the end, we’re left with a society where most people don’t aspire to be anything more than being “like everyone else”. Whether that’s being like peers or celebrities, we’re constantly just trying to be like the people around us. Depending on where people look to, some want fame and money, most often without putting any hard work in. Others just want children, shelter and not much else, sacrificing any life goals for insignificance like everyone else. In a world where people feel like they’ve acheived something by meeting “celebrities” (as the lack of a better word for “People who were on Big Brother once”), is it any wonder? We’re unimportant people who worship and idolize equally unimportant people who are only regarded as important because they’ve either done something every other human being can do with a bit of practise, or have sold themselves and ruined their dignity by brown-nosing their way to the top (You’re honestly telling me that Lady Gaga hasn’t shown her “Gaga” to people in order to get a bit further in the music industry? I bet a large number of these so-called “pop stars” have at one point in their careers. If these people weren’t using themselves to extend their fifteen minutes then surely their promotional imagery would be a bit more… tasteful?).

On the other hand, maybe I’m just being bleak and pessimistic. Maybe my lack of faith is the very thing stopping me from seeing the light and realising what I’ve been missing. However, the fact of the matter is that I can see the things I’m missing and I don’t want them. I see things like iPods and Dominoes Pizza and want them, just like everyone else, but I see things like “Big Brother” and Celebrity Jungle Testicle Eating “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here” and put a mental restraining order on myself to stop myself from going anywhere near them. I don’t want to associate with the likes of these; I want to rip the mere memories of their existence from my brain with a very sharp and merciless weapon. Some people call me a kill joy, but I just call myself sensible. It’s the same with Football and every other mindless drivel that becomes something that’s taken more seriously than life itself. When there are people who cry themselves to sleep over the results of these things, have pointlessly heated arguments with each other over their contemplations and observations of these forms of “entertainment”, or can use the indulgence of it as a valid excuse amongst people such as bosses and teachers to reasonably excuse themselves or justify their absence from work, it’s time for the world to slap itself in the face and assess what actually matters. I’ll be perfectly happy living my life without all this fuss and hubbub. Maybe, one day, other people will be able to as well… Or not. Maybe I might wake up tomorrow and find that it has all become clear. Who knows?

You heard it here, folks! Album 4’s got a name, and it’s “Unlucky For Some“. The album has 12 tracks and will be available on at least CD format from 11/10/09 (which in American format is the 11th November 2009). No word on pricing yet, but there will be a number of options, including that to bundle both Unlucky For Some with An Unnecessary Biography. I’ll keep you updated! After these long two years, it’s nice to finally be able to call it done. Thank you all for your support and I hope you all manage to get copies! In the mean time, you can listen to 30 second previews of the songs on the Unlucky For Some page.

Real Life, The Internet and Everywhere In Between (TM) is full of horrible, horrible people. There is no escaping. In real life we have chavs, idiots, and drunks. Online we have trolls, teenagers and fanboys. There is now no society where we can be free from pretentious morons. Not a single shred. Everything is ruined by someone with too much time on their hands.

In real life, we’re constantly surrounded by jerks. All kinds of jerks. Jerks who are too lazy and stupid to get jobs, jerks who are too inconsiderate to care about other people, jerks who are too self absorbed to be conscientious towards other people. Online we are constantly surrounded by jerks, too. We have jerks that are hateful towards anyone and everyone, jerks who like to destroy, and jerks who are one of the jerks listed above but in digital form. Jerks jerks jerks jerks jerks. Where is the humanity? Where is the freedom?

Well, I can explain where it’s gone. Here’s my theory: Popularity gave people in the real world a false sense of importance and grandiosity… So the people who weren’t popular turned to the internet, where they became popular amongst their friends online. This gave the unpopular people a false sense of importance and grandiosity. Then, when the real life popular people joined the internet, they mixed with other popular people who then became even more pretentious and self-loving. Now we’re faced with a garble of people who are infatuated with their egos. Great. Because of this, those of us still sane are trapped in a jar made of jerkness, which is impossible to escape from until everyone who lacks the best intentions is shot. What a miserable existence for us all.

Citing remarks from TUAW, Gizmodo, and AppleInsider, it seems apparent that the new iTunes LP format is only for the big publishers, not us indie folks. Colour me pessimistic, but I was aware of this from the moment they announced the format. With my new album coming out soon, the first question I asked myself was “How can I get a piece of this?”, just to be answered with “Don’t be stupid. There is no way that will happen.” There is just no way that it was going to be available for folks like me, and others.

If Apple was going to open this technology up for Indie developers they would have announced it on the day. They would have released a specification list and a large amount of documentation, just like for iPhone web apps, Safari web apps and iPhone native apps. In all honesty, the mere fact that there is no way for Indie artists to release their own music on the iTunes store through Apple itself (I use 3rd party service TuneCore) is enough to warrant the assumption that iTunes LP was limited to artists with labels who are willing to bend Apple’s arms backwards to let them have a sweet piece of their pie – the ones who actually fuel the iTunes store… not us crappy indie bands. We’re indie for a reason (read: no-one cares about us).

So what can we do? Well, maybe we’ll find a way to fool iTunes into accepting our homebrew LPs. Maybe we’ll just suffice with having our music on there. Maybe we’ll create substitutes online by hosting our own imitations, for example –  it could be easily done… But what we won’t be doing is creating iTunes LPs, and I’m sure most of us are perfectly happy with that – we don’t get upset because our CDs aren’t distributed internationally in high street retail outlets. I’m sure we can live.

Update: I’ve partially cracked this issue. iTunes LPs work just like Mac applications and are just bundles. Importing an .itlp file (a folder renamed with the extension) into iTunes will create your iTunes LP just like the ones from the iTunes Store. No word on monetizing it, but you can still have an LP – as long as you get all the components right (like metadata files, XML files, etc.) It doesn’t help that I don’t actually own an iTunes LP at the moment, but I’m sure that opening one up and copying and pasting bits and pieces will be a breeze; they’re literally just web files. Here’s a shot of my iTunes LP where I just copied and pasted the index page for my site as a default html file: