Ok, this picture was posted on Gizmodo and it really left a psychological impact on me. If you look at the top part -the forehead area- you’ll notice that it looks just like normal Simon Cowell… but then you look a bit lower and have to question what strange creature this is. I don’t have a massive hatred for the guy (I sure don’t like him, but I don’t particularly dislike him) but this picture is just disturbing. It makes me want to obtain a shotgun, just incase it becomes real and decides to attack me. I’m having nightmares tonight.

One can only guess that one of the new lighting technicians didn’t read the notes and turned one of the spotlights up too high, causing the poor bloke to melt. As you can see, his arms are clearly flailing in a way that indicates panic and fear, whilst his eyes scold in a way that says “You stupid fool! Why didn’t you read the notes!?”.

The people who are hailing the Rage Against The Machine thing as if it’s the second coming of Jesus are people who probably would have bought the X Factor single anyway. They only bought the single because they were told to, rather than because they like the band (hence why I didn’t buy it).

As much as I love the fact that real musicians had a Christmas number one again, it’s easy to forget that most people only bought it because they were following their friends on Facebook and following an idea which seemed “funny”, just like they’d follow the TV and buy a song which they were manipulated into buying through a reality talent show. If Rage Against The Machine had released a Christmas single and had won because people liked the track more than the X Factor track, it would be a different story. The sad fact of the matter is that bands like Rage Against The Machine don’t release Christmas songs, or even release songs near Christmas at all. All this activity exercised is the influence of Social Networking and proved that people downloading singles does actually make a difference in the charts… which, uh, would make sense.

Despite popular belief, the record industry doesn’t make up the charts; they need them more than the public does. For the industry, it shows them what songs are popular amongst the public and what sort of music to keep pumping out. Without it, the labels would have to guess at what people “like” in order to release stuff, which, as we probably all know, isn’t as effective as knowing. For example, I could guess that my girlfriend has cheated on me. It means nothing unless I know. On top of this fact, there is no necessary reason for the different labels to exchange information on which of their artists are doing well. The charts act as a way for not only the public to know what’s popular, but the record labels to know what’s popular on other labels.

The problem is that people don’t understand how the singles chart works. The singles chart only applies to singles, hence it’s called the singles charts. The reason bands like Rage Against The Machine don’t make it into the charts is because the people who listen to them are dedicated fans and buy their albums, which are, y’know, albums… not singles. Since they’re quite established, most of their fans buy their older albums from places like CEX or Ebay which sell the album second hand, with no contribution to the charts. When they release a new album, chances are they buy it from Amazon or a party that doesn’t necessarily contribute to the chart’s statistics.

Now, as far as the album chart goes, yes, they could get a number one album… but only when they release a new album. Muse, for example, had a number one platinum album this year with the release of “The Resistance”, despite their single making it to number nine in the UK singles chart. The reason for this is because Muse is an established band that people recognise have better albums than singles (in theory), so their Wembley Stadium-filling fans just buy the album, rather than single. Same with Green Day and all of the other established bands that released albums this, and every other year.
The reason X Factor makes it’s way to Christmas number one is because it’s the mindless sheep who buy singles that put it there. Well, “mindless sheep” is a bit harsh. The fact is that people without that much interest in music buy singles, and those are the people that watch X Factor. That’s the reason X Factor makes it so high in the charts at Christmas. It’s not necessarily popular overall, but it’s popular amongst the people who buy singles.

Short story long, what I’m trying to say is that the people who buy singles are a completely different type of listener to those who buy albums. The people who buy albums are the people who like real music with real talent. The people who buy singles are the people who are just contempt with listening to whatever music they hear played on the radio or telly. The only true way you can change this is to get rid of all the people who don’t really care about music, but unfortunately genocide is illegal.

Ok, for this week’s Sunday Special, I am sharing the fantastic Star Wars Episode One review by Red Letter Media. It’s 70 minutes long, spread over seven parts, and highlights all the things that made the Star Wars prequels feel a bit… wrong (other than the fact the cast of the original trilogy were in their forties by the time they came out!).

With thanks to Gizmodo for highlighting this!

Below is a piece I wrote for college about the differences between BBC Radio One’s “Newsbeat” and BBC Radio Four’s “Midnight News”. I didn’t take it very seriously. So without further ado, here it is in all it’s glory, ready to be immortalised by the prowess of the interbutts.

To get a better understanding about how different news networks appeal to different audio demographics when presenting the news, I compared two different radio stations’ news broadcasts. I decided to look at BBC Radio One’s “Newsbeat” and BBC Radio 4’s “Midnight News”. Even by name alone, you can start to see the differences between the two.

Firstly, I analysed BBC Radio One’s “Newsbeat”. In traditional Radio One fashion, the programme starts with popular music. While far from appropriate (the song referenced sexual acts, and the likes), it immediately declares what sort of audience the broadcast is aimed at, as if shouting it out of a top story window with a fanfare of trumpets behind it.

The teen-orientated show then continues with a chirpy presenter introducing the show , followed by a “crazy voices” indent that shouts “Newsbeat!” while branching off into varied pitched repetitions and wacky sound effects that introduce a moderate tempo drum and bass beat into the background.

BBC Radio One Newsbeat

Continuing, the chirpy presenter then reads out the headlines with an upbeat yet mournful tone, similar to if she was trying out a friend’s cooking and was too polite to admit that each mouthful felt like it was reducing her life span by five years.

To add insult to injury, the headlines are accompanied by almost comedic sound effects of bombs going off. I half expected to hear a novelty “ Ahh! There go my legs!” in the background. Evidently , this is not broadcasting for older listeners.

Reassuring the notion that this show is designed for the nations goldfish youth, the background music blasts out a chord between articles to startle the young ones and get them to refocus their precious attention on the box in the corner that makes noises on it’s own. Catering to this, the articles are also kept short and simple in order for the brain to digest the information quicker (and to stop people from flicking over to something more interesting). That said, the more serious articles are usually longer and include clips from “the field”, which show that they are clearly more important.

Because Radio One is so modern and fancy, the show also announces that it has additional content online, such as videos and interviews that are designed to take radio to “THE NEXT LEVELTM”. In addition to this, the show also informs it’s audience of later shows that may also appeal, such as music broadcasts, which are advertised by the presenter who hosts said show , resulting in an effect similar to the presenters sticking their heads into the studio for a brief moment they’re not

fiddling with their iPhones on the way to Starbucks (or somewhere as equally trendy and hip) like the important people they are.

During a section about the recent media news (a part I often refer to as “ Animals Do The Funniest Things”), the show also receives support from a number of “celebrities” who feel the need to chime in on whatever they think is going on, whether it be some meaningless award ceremony or some other sort of excuse to nurse the egos of these people. This helps the audience think the show is on their wavelength and knows what they want.

Finally , the show wraps up with Sports news. Again, not really important news, but it somehow makes it’s way into the brief 15 minutes the show runs for. In this section, the presenters highlight just how bad their concept of the English language is by using slang words and terms, and calling people by things like “Rooney” and “Biscuit” as if their complete disregard for diction wasn’t bad enough.

Overall, Newsbeat is like CBBC’s “Newsround” but for teenagers. It’s basically news for dumb people who can help being dumb, unlike “Newsround” which is for dumb people who just don’t have the brain capacity to know any better yet. It’s 15 minutes long (short enough for people with so many “important” things to be doing), is on at 5:45 (so these “teenagers” can hear it after school) and is targeted at 12-18 year olds, with a slight stretch into the 18-24 year old demographic.

BBC Radio Four Midnight News

On the more civilised end of the scale is BBC Radio 4’s “Midnight News”. Midnight News is a thorough and insightful look into the daily happenings in the world. It starts with the beautiful sound of the Winchester chimes (marking the dawn of midnight) before a humble narrator introduces himself and the show in a calm, relaxed and almost seductive manner.

Once the chimes have finished, the narrator starts to read out the headlines calm and precisely . W ith nothing but his voice carrying the words he’s saying, the broadcast is clear and intimate. It was as if he was engaging in aural intercourse with my ears. The subtle excitement of the political headlines, the hidden mourning during the death tolls… It made my stomach flutter. Never have I found such a worthy news broadcast. However, before too long something odd happened. A new presenter was introduced to handle the reading of a feature.

To me, it was as if I was having an affair with a colleague. It felt dirty and uncomfortable for the first few minutes but soon after, all was forgotten and it just felt right hearing the news from a different mouth. I’d never engaged in anything of this aural nature. It was all new to me. It introduced me to things like clips of President Obama speaking to America, and the likes. It was odd but it was easy to adjust to. But as with any affair, I soon returned to my first love… Even just for the simple fact of trying not to arouse suspicion.

But it seemed that I couldn’t get enough of it. Each time a longer article was to be read, the poor initial narrator passed me over and the feeling of guilt soon returned. W as it wrong to enjoy the company of someone else too?

Regardless, by the end of the thirty minutes, I was close to exhaustion. Not complete exhaustion –I could still continue about my day and continue everything I was doing before, but it just felt a bit harder than usual.

Evidently this sort of broadcast is not designed for teenagers. They want their music, their sex, drugs and rock and roll. But for the older age group this is a godsend. The 30, 40, 50 and 60 year old demographic, for certain.

The differences between the two broadcasts are quite apparent. Newsbeat is designed to overload the senses with its music and hipness. Midnight news is

designed to present the news clearly and precisely with a lot of depth. At the end of the day it’s a matter of taste.

Mario Kart: The Movie – Trailer (HD)

This brings back childhood memories. If only it were real… It certainly explains a few things though.